Today's my official MC day.
Can't resist taking 1 more off day.
As I told zann, my immune system is still not strong enough to take the chill of my office.
My office is like an ice box, so colddd.


Anyway weekend was busy as usual.
Meet up with pr!
I totally hear her big time! She gave me my long awaited bdae present and the gift totally blew me off.
It's so nice and of cause made personally by PR!

























So many people were asking me why I get it and stuff.
Hey ger! i honestly think that you should earn some cash by selling it noe.
Anyway I want to say thank you because you always understand me.
Thank you for your support even though at times you know that the best way out was not meant to be that way.
You never criticize me or judge me. You were there all along showing me your support, quietly.
Even though we don't meet up everytime, we don't drift apart too.
Thank you ger!


After meet up was to a BBQ
And well, i can't imagine i'm talking to jasmine!
Hahahas, anyway was nice to have someone familiar that i know there.
After that was heading over ta MOS
Hao was drunk. And this was the first time he actually vomitted.
Thus, guess kelvin and quan xin are ghost!


Things was not the way you percieve it,
Knowing that you are freaking pissed but then again, we did not mean it that way.
Guess this will take a long time to blow over.
Just don't want to make a past thing even worse.
hope you get what mean....







My ecstasy

I can feel as if there's a huge ball stuck in my throat
Every effort made to swallow spells pain.
I shivered non stop from that stupid fever and kept popping panadols as if it's some magical pill.
Night rest was restless and I feel as if I have not slept for 10000000 days.
Touch me a little and it feels like I’m being smacked.
I just hate the feeling of falling sick.
Especially on a weekend!
It happens once every 5 days and feels as if it happens once every leap year.
But yet,
Falling sick makes me feel loved.
Correction. Even more loved.
The constantly waking up to check how's my fever
The constantly covering me up with blanket.
The constantly nagging "aiyo, ur fever's very high" "you very hot noe!"
The constantly trying to keep me warm with your huggss.
I really don't mind falling sick 10 more times.





The talk of friendship just kept flashing back in my mind.
Years of knots can't be untied that easily.
Weeks of separation can change a person drastically.
Days of non-contacting causes awkwardness.
Then, what's the use of having such.
I'm sick of all this and learnt to take it in my stride.
If years and countless experience of sticking together can be destroyed that easily by hearsays and rumors, then I have to learn to let go.
Where's the understanding?
Where's the effort to clear things up?
I'm tired of trying to make things right when it takes 2 hands to clap.
Humans do change their perception and way of thinking over the years.
Don't ever judge me, because no one is perfect.
Because even god do makes mistake.











I used to say its the closest thing to magic.
now
it is truely magic.

Feverish~
Feeling so weak in the early morning..
Work's fine except the constant mimicking of koonie's language!
ahas.
Eeki's going clubbing and ade's majong-ing.
Eeki!! without me no fun lah~ whahas












I heart blanket wrapping.Red thick jacket.Suana feel.Constant nagging.
I'm a dumpling wrapped gf!

Misses too many turns.
Walked too many unnecessary paths.
But then,
I'm a happy girl once again








Its bursting from the bottom of my heart
Sugary sensation.

Its been a long time since i have this feeling.
It feel so gd. No worries no nothing.











hey you....

All rights just home...Been ages since I "camped" out till this late.
Work was tiring but filling today.
OT all the way till 8.30pm!
After that was chilling out with adelene.Was having a headache deciding who to meet after that and I settled with my longtimenosee friends!
Laughter is always around cause they are such a bunch of lamee guys.
Take a look back, all have grown. Way more mature and yet still so childish at time. =))
Was being ferried here and there with the courtesy of Mr. Hao ren!
Growing up and maturing together. Seen so many events happening together.
Experience the same disappointment and sadness from the same person.
Come to think of it, no matter what, I realize they will always be there.
Though they are not good with words and actions, somehow or rather they manage to unintentionally convey it.

Anyway cf!
You are way thinner. Keep up the gd job.whahas




Oh ya!
Congratulations to MR PETER BRANDON on his long awaited freedom.
Hell is all set loose and I guess he's ready to party and snuggle up with dearest eeki!








Razorblade kiss

Took a halfday leave tml for my advanced
But well i got a feeling i would not pass cause i did not touch the magic book till now..
Rorrs
Its all right causeeeee
Kelvin's gonna lose the bet!!
whahhas
Mr kelvin pls be prepare and go train more ya =)))

All right i got to hit the magic book

---------edited--------

I really did mean to study but i ended up having some talks with my friends on msn.
I came to realise a lot of things are and are not within our control.
Those that are not will only end up breaking our hearts and tear our souls at times.
Like death isn't within our control.
And those that are within our control often are messed up by us.
I realise humans are always trapped in traps we set ourself.
I've learned and re-learned that when things happen and we can't changed it, we can only accept it.
When you can only accept it, then lived with it and make the best out of it.



This scene just kept coming into my mind today.
Us having BK breakfast during my break.
Though its short but its enough.
So warm then.
Misses



My declaration of independence

Happy Belated birthday my dear sister!!
Its wonderful 18th for you.. enjoy while you can ya!
I heart you sweetie!
Muacks






























Called off cause we girls were too tired!
If only we have car!
Ade
i promised i will work double (X1000000000000000) hard for my advanced!
i promised i will work duper hard at my job and get lots and lots of clients!
i promised there will be a day i fetch you from work and vice versa





Kiss her kiss her

Almost slept my way through today.
Work up late and rush like a mad woman.
Feeling so lethargic today.
So blue.Guess I'm having tuesdays blue too...

Got a surprise sms from my long time no chill together pradana!
Met up with prada and had a nice and chill dinner at cartel.
Its been a long time since we sat down and had a good talk and laugh.
Wanted to chill awhile longer but my head's pounding away.
Bad headache.
Sorry jie mei!
Meet up next week kss.
I promise i will be bouncy and chatty instead =))


Why is everyone around me all falling in love..
Tsk Tsk




She said she said she said
"Why don't you just drop dead"

I'm feeling blue da- ber- di- da -ber- dub.
Monday bluessss..

I'm feeling kind of emo all of a sudden.
Just visited Ade's blog and find it all so sweet.
Happy 2 yrs to her and her beau.
2 years down the road together is a long way to come from.
Feeling so mixed up right now.
How I envy them and yet feel so happy for them.
Part of me does wish I can find mine
To last long and strong....
I used to think that I have it all.
Now I realize I have nothing at all.
I thought I have already let go of all
And yet suddenly it's all gushing back.
I thought I'm ready to move on
And yet I realize I'm making a trip back to memory lane
I guess what I'm feeling is just temporary...
I shall and will wake up a happy koonie tml!




My heart's feeling heartache and heartmiss at the moment.
From NZ to Taiwan.
Void deck talks to home visit.
From eye infections to corneal ulcer and daily trips to hospital
From fathers' to jobless then to Negara.
Birthday spent hanging in the sky and looking down.
Sweet handphone beeping msgs to walking hand in hand.
From NS to almost ord.Clearing leaves.Mc.Hospital check ups.
7.15 wake up calls.12pm lunch talks.3pm tea breaks.5pm knock off.
Cuddles.Waking up to each other.Faking sickness.Escape work.Unpaid leaves.Coffeebean.Tata sauce (LOTS).Fish & Co.Chalets.Talks of cars in dream.Smiling while sleeping.Talking while sleeping.Piggybacks.Basic theories.Kelly sportsvan.KTV.Beancurd.Sushis.Cartel.Movies.Baby G white limited watch.Heartaches.Heartsunk.Chong pang nasi.Saturdays partying.
Sundays' movies.Neoprints taking.photo taking.Huggs.Lift to work.Lift from work.Tampines mall.Sunplaza.Ceni.Paragon.Far east.Popcorns.Ben's and jerry's.Bus 167.The cathay.Carparks.Remy Martin ft. Swizz Beatz - Whatever.First taste of driving.Zouk.Mos.Momo.Mac ice cream cone.Kisses.Vanilla milkshakes.Mos milktea.Homecook food.Homemade soup.Bitter herbal tea.Black CK spects.Twister fries.Late night sentosa.Little sweet boys.Soccer bets.Biotherm.Visits to Gucci.7610.N80.VS2.Future talks.Teasing.Quarrels.Tears.Laughter
Memories memories...
Wake up dear koonie.
All rights, I shall quit being whiney and pull myself out of self pitying and misery!










Be my escape..

Insomnia is tagging along.
Just home but yet I'm feeling very very awake
Pirates rorrs. I'm entertained throughout.
Cute guys throughout.Laughing throughout.Gossiping gossiping.
Popcorns.Nachos.Teddy's lame-ing.Ben's & Jerry's chocolate fudge brownies.
After pirating, is Jalan kayu-ing
No pratas cause it's so sinful... sighs
Got a lift and save on cab fare rorrs.
Thanks alot ya!

My weekend is flying out of my grasp.....
Work's returning!
How I hope my weekend will never end.







I really don't know how to put it across.
I thought is obvious enough....

Finally it's Saturday!
My precious weekend is here!
Sleeping till noon. Slacking around and get fat.Chilling.no heels. no staring at the computer browsing through tones of resume. no telemarketing. no freezing office.
Going out in NORMAL CIVILIAN CLOTHES.

Work was superb.
I totally love my job now only that I've got to stress how to find my client. Big ones I say.
Out till late almost everyday after work and my family started asking me nonsensical qns.
"Eh girl, you got bf ah?"
"Sis, you got bf ah"
Well, a lady can also enjoy herself without any romantically strings attached isn't it?
No guys and we will not die!
Okays, I'm sounding like some crazy independent woman cult.

Met up with my dear eeki after work yesterday.
Went Billy bombing and got fat.
Slow dinner was the theme of the night
And it took us 2 hours to consume all =))
I totally adore her.
Heart to heart talks rorrs.
Laughing at random jokes rorrs.
Stoning and doing nothing rorrs.
Don't start asking us when the hell did we 2 started to get so close?
We attempted at this qns yesterday.
And well, attemption failed.
We cracked our brain and drained all juices out of our wonderful memory and yet, we don't know when.
Don't ask us what bonded us together?
This answer will not be revealed because it's a little secret between the 2 OLs! =))


After Billy bombing we decided to stroll down to Timber and not cabbing!
Burnt off 0.001% of fats and sweated 1 pail of perfumed sweat, we finally reached Timber. Timber is totally COOL MAN.
The live band rorrs.
Songs they sing rorrs (x1000000)
The lead singer rorrs cause he is totally cute.
whahas I just love guys with goatie!!!
The guys were already there and chopped a nice seat for us.
Thus, night was spent under the dark big sky, with the big round moon shining.
Mesmerizing with the lead singer. I mean the band's music. heh
Beer. Lychee martinis. Lots of laughing. Lots of questionings.
And not forgetting lots of weird looking insects!


I know that nothing in life will be perfectly smooth sailing.
Felt that I've managed to scrape through one of the toughest moment in my life so far.
Not being some emo little girl down here. =))
Anywayss.
i do miss my negara gang!
i do miss dearest pr!
i do miss pretty hadassa!
And of cause. SUGAR!








Heave a sign of relieve.
and i tell myself
Totally not interested in anything now.

Work starts tml!
Koonie's not jobless anymore.
Hurs
I'm kind of nervous though.......................
Doubt i can sleep well tonight!!

Office wear. More and more.
Morning crowds.Packed till i-can't-move on trains.
Story books.Mp3.
Random thoughts.Daydreaming. Memories walk.
All these shall be my best friends to work.
Rorrss.

Meeting up my dearies after work tml.
Be prepare to hear me chit chatting away about my new day gers!
Kill the butterflies in me, anyone??






I do wish you are the one i share it with

My legs are breaking.
Its a loonng walk back from Jalan Kayu.
Did not know you can actually walk back from there....
Nice walk. Nice talk.







Once I ran to you
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given

Nice catching up with wilin!
He still as funny and sweet as ever...
I kind of miss the times.
Hey buddy chill soon ya!


Follow your heart.
Fight for your own happiness if you have to.
Make yourself happy and if you have to, don't hesitate.
I would not hate you.
I promised...



I'm being attacked by viruses.
Sneeze.Sneeze.Sneeze.
Cough.Cough.Cough.
I hate falling sick..





I don't know did i do the right thing.
I don't want to do the same thing to you like how i'm being treated.
Being a rebound sucks. Big time.

Counting down to the start of my new job.
Quite excited and nervous though.
Hope everything will go through smoothly..
Planning to meet up with eeki and ade after my first day of work on tues.
Then we will be looking like some professional OL in smart wear.
Looking oh so sexy and pretty.
whahahs.
Office wear SUCKS.


How can one heart two at the same time?
Isn't it way too squeezy and tiring to do so?
And is it fair to each other?
But well thousands of people out there seems to do it. To the extend of enjoying it.
Everything on earth is tainted.



I've learned that achings will never go away
Till i myself releases it.
I did it today......

Blame it on no one.
There should have been more trust.
No point in debating with.
Expectations are not present.
Though a degree of anger and disappointment were.
But well, life isn't a rosy path to walk after all.
Guess path will not be crossed again.
A little relieved with a mixture of a tinge of sadness at the outcome.
I will sing my way through to my own sunny island



Why does your little piece of heaven seems so dark?

I've said my piece.
From this moment, this second onwards
You are out..totally

I find it that i don't seem to know you that well after all.
The truth isn't a pleasant thing after all.
But well, nothing's to hard to handle just that time is needed for things to sink it.

Weather forecast for today:
Partially cloudy.

Feeling just like the weather today.
The dark clouds that was hanging over had been blown away.
Only a certain part's still hanging around.
Sunshine is trying their best to peek their way through.
I fall asleep a tired and sadden soul.
Woke up with a lighter heart and more mended.
Maybe's because what I hope will be done did happened.
Although it's unexpected but somehow or rather a part of me feels that I would get an explanation or something.
Only that it's a matter of time.
Call it my small little understanding towards you or my little foolishness as some may seen it as.
Thank you is what I wanted to say.
Thank you for not breaking my little last faith I have in you and myself.
Thank you for at least caring how I feel.
Thank you...

Sore throats, cough and non-stop hits sneezing obviously don't make my day good isn't it.
I don't want to fall sick cause it makes me feels vulnerable...............
Anyways i got the job as a recruit consultant.
Starting work next tuesday =))
Call me friends if you need a job!



If you wish to perserve
You have to be able to accept what's going to happen in between the process and what's going to come after that.
That's what you told me ger.
I was absolutely sure and told you my decision....
I was sure.... didn't I?
Or did I not?

Just home and bran's damn lousy.
Puke again.
Sighs.
Bran and eeki left first leaving me with des kelvin and wei dian.
Did not know he was that unpopular with you all till i was being told.
ahhas.
Somehow or rather i know all of you care =))
Last supper tml with you guys for bran and we shall go club and mj-ing without Peter Brandon Wee Lu Xian!
Rorrs.
I shall be the guradian angel of eeki.My promised to bran is being honoured ya!

Hey ger.
I think somehow or rather i'm looking through your point of view.
Though its was kinda weird at first but things got better at the back part.
Too bad you got to leave early
I heart you!





Thanks for making that effort to come all the way down. =))
Even for that few mins.
I still hope you understand my position now.

K lunch was good and wayyy cheap!
We sang till we turned hoarse.
After that was movie "Just my luck"
Finally i caught it.
Popcorns.Peanuts.Jumbo Hotdogs.Chips.Lemon tea.
Sounded more like a picnic.
Off to party not because its Ladies night.
Its because its brans' last partying session before he becomes BALD!
Lotsa of photo taking i hope!




Don't appear offline the moment you see me.

Went over for an interview.
Hope everything goes well.
A new start. A new beginning
I think I"m ready to go.
Went shopping with leong and met up with jovi later on
Caught superman and i gave it 5 popcorns!
I'm entertained throughout and it"s definitely sooo sweet!
I want a superman too.
Fly me and protect me.
whahas.

It wasn"t as hard as I thought it will be.
I'm sick of being that whiney little girl.
After that short direct talk with Mr. Kind soul, I finally decided what the best thing is for me after all.
A person can"t move on till they own their past.
Its true isn"t it.
There's so much i wish to say and so much i want you to know.
But i realise it isn't that worth it after all.
I've been thinking about the meaning of resistance, of a hope beyond my own.
And suddenly the infinite and penitent begin to look like home.
That's when i realise all this can't go on.
I think i'm better off that way.







Not for now.
I'm still taking it slowly.
Stand by me if you can take it.
Moved on if you can't.

Just back from chilling with xx zg and derick.
Lotsa of catching up and heart to heart talks.
I dig it man.
2nd interview tml.
Wish me luckss
I pronounce "Koonie lee's jobless with effect from Monday 4/7/06"


2 weeks have fly past.
I'm not feeling any better.
I lost all defense to protect myself and the ability to pick myself up.
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken.






What hurts the most is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

I have a very close friend now
And her name is called Boredom.
She tag along with me all day long and sticks with me closely. I tried to shake her off but she just would not bug off.
She's trying her very best to bring another of her close friend into my life.
His name is called Restless.
Great huh.
So boredom and restless prompted me to do some quizzes.
I've done it but they are still with me
Kill me someone.


The jealousy test
http://www.student.com/tests/jealousytest.php
You are 22.22% jealous!For this test, the average jealousy percentage is 35.54%.529452 people have taken this test to date.
This percentage means that :
•You have very few jealous traits.
•You rarely over-react and have a handle on the severity of situations.
•Whatever jealous attributes you do have will not present a problem inrelationships, and will sometimes help.

The personality test
http://www.student.com/tests/taketest.php?id=3
You scored a 59.46%.For this test, the average percentage is 52.280129402011%.55486 people have taken this test to date.
This score classifies you as:
You have an open mind, yet are firm in your beliefs.
You are trusting of people and have a fairly easy time making new friends.
You live a happy life and will continue to do so if you stay the way you are.







I realise i'm being unfair to you.
Cause my heart's full.
To the risk of overspilling
I'm sorry

All rights. I've decided not to sleep so as to prevent myself from waking up late and rush to work in a cab.
Though i can feel my eyes closing on me....
Just home from chilling session with adelene.
Both of us were so into the idea of sharing a car and we went to do some research.
I know it sounds a little silly but well, that's our decision =))
While chilling in town, saw hadassah talita and guy.
Went chilling again once more and played bridge, risking some scoldings from the aunty working there.
wahahs
I became a photowhore once i'm with dear hada!
Upload the pics soon ya, i want to grab your photos!

After which, we waited for desmond to fetch us over to MS for some exciting soccer
Eeki and bran came down too.
Shucks cause it was s tie between argentina and germany. Managed to win a miserable 10bucks.
wahahs what nonsense.
Hopped over to lau pa sa and ta da here i am home....
Life's kind of hectic recently.
Maybe cause i am trying my best to fill up every empty seconds with something to keep my mind from wandering.

Hey adelene!!! My room mate to be.
Let's work hard and save more money ya! I really really want to get a car by next year!
Work hard for our car and apartment ya.
Huggss!!
Psst: eeki, you are offically invited to bunk in with us by paying a monthly rent ya! =)))





I feel a little exhuasted both mentally and physically.
There is so much i wanted to say but yet i'm holding back.
But yet, i'm unsure what's holding me.
Maybe its because i don't want to break what we have now.
Cause all this is enough...
Just enough to keep me going.