How come when it seems that i have everything, i feel that i have nothing.
I have a socall quite perfect life now.
wonderfulfamily. sweetbf. nicecolleagues. goodworkingenvironment. A job(atleast).wonderfulfriends
It paints a simple and nice picture isn't it?
She'shavingsuchawonderfullifeandyetshe'sunhappy.
Yes i admit.
This is what i wanted when i was living the notsoheavenlife.
Did i get greedy along the way?
Did my wants exceed my needs?
Did my desire get the better of me?
Or this is actually not what i wanted after all?
I don't want to sound emotional. Don't want to sound whiny.
Just don't understand how the feeling of lost hit me.
Gets the better of me.
I think i'm the one making my own life miserable. Making myself unhappy.
Humans are greedy ain't so?
Or maybe simplicity ain't what i want my life to be.
I don't need a g l a m o r o u s life.
I want more out of my job. Out of my life.
I need to meaningful journey.
Something which when i look back and i won't not have too much regrets.
Cause regrets are the hardest thing to live with. Well to me.

Are the angels working hard enough or am i not the good ones that deserved them?

It seems like my life's a little uneventful recently.
Slog like a cow. slp like a pig and earn peanuts.
Sighs
I guess moonlight-ing is inevitable.


TAURUS WOMAN

A slim moderately tall woman. Taurus woman is funny and a jolly person.
Square facial bone structure, high cheek bone. Her round big eyes sparkle
with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round faces Taurus women, and
mainly she will have a strong jaw line.

She is a constantly change person. If she's upset, she will not show it and will keep it to herself for a long time, and will remember them so well. If she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a totally and completely stranger to her.

She is a patient person, but always need new excitement. She hates long talk meeting, long and endless conversation. She can be in love with you today, and one day she could act as if she has never loved you before. She has patient with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons for stopping her project, then she will quit.

Money for Taurus woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks
of money as an instrument for assuring of a good living. She has more satisfaction in achieving her goals more than satisfaction in fine cloths and luxuries. If you like a woman who always thinks of love and romance ,then you are dating the wrong girl. You can not tell her to stay at home,
she likes to work and preferred not work at home.

She loves animals and likes to surround by animals. Love is in her head, but
Freedom is in her soul. She has her own idea about love and afraid to show her true feeling for fear of rejection. She is not the type to talk about love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good in showing when she is in love, but if she loves you she will be honest to you than any other women.

She will be honest to her love one, but at the same time seems distant. You will have a good relationship with her, if you allow her freedom. Do not force her to be with you in a poker game which she hates, but let she goes out swinging with her friends if she wants to. She will be different than other girls, and she thinks different is one of her unique quality. She is a public figure but belongs to no one.She will not stay with you, if she thinks you are not sincere. She likes you to have personality, but better not to compete with her. Loves her, but not too much for she afraid it will limiting her freedom.

She always stand out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could
see her dress like a poor farmer dinning in the fancy restaurant, or dress ike a nun in an a cocktail dress party. If you are a politician who are looking for a wife, she will make a good one because she is cleverly smart and she could get along socially with any type of crowds.

She is not a jealous type because she has to know you thoroughly before accepting you in her life. She has more curiosity in life than wondering if right now you are flirting with someone else. If you keep a distant from her, or go away for a few days, she will miss you more. Even when she is
dating you, she also able to fond of someone else, if you do not have something she is looking for. She will never disappoint you or hide behind your back to make you loose face, but she is the type who just going to tell you to your face that " We're better off breaking up".

She always remember her first love. Taurus woman holds the best record for divorce for she does not care about how people think of her, but every things should be done for "Happiness".

She has lots of friends and sure of herself, so you will hardly see she delays any of her thoughts before her action. If she think of something, she will go ahead and does it. She has many men wanting her for her constant changes is the challenge. She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and tough. She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like
an old mate today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She will have that interesting hair, dress and a look unique from anyone else.

She likes to learn about your dreams and your thought. She has fun teasing you and making jokes. If she did something wrong, she won't hide it from you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it. She hates to owe people money and take promise seriously. If you promise to pay her back, you'd better paid up.

If you want to make it with Taurus woman, then do not be jealous or possessive, do not be narrow minded, do not criticize about nonsense or small and insignificant matters. Try to likes her friends and let she has her privacy, then she can be very sweet to you.




I need a getaway desperately. I need lots of new excitement.
Clubbing used to bring me excitement.
I need lots of unexpected fortunate events.
I need lots of unpredictable instead of predictable.
I don't need routines in my lifee....
Sigh.
Yes i'm feeling down. down to the bottom.

I'm only looking forward to 6 o'clock so that i can go home and bathe.
Dinner with ning and tarot cards reading.Chill and camera whoring
Gee







The union of two souls, two hearts
A bond the angels have ordained

Recapping

Fri was Saw 3 with the usual gang.
Don't ask me how but i managed to get into R21 movies more than once. =))
Saw 3 was gross and it feels like Faces of Death. Well maybe worse.
But the plot was really intriguing.
Forgiveness.Vengeance.Revenge.

Sat WAS SUPPOSED to be meaningfully spent with ning!
But well she flew again.
She really makes an excellent pilot!
Anyways. I still went to the Victoria Secret warehouse sale
And yeah, i got there a little too late
Cups were all snatched up. My size is way tooo common in Singapore.
Tsk
Leaving me with 32DD, 34DD, 36C and 40DD
40DD sound really humongous. It can fit my whole face i guess.
In the end, i ended up with 2 sets of lingerie and 1 tee.
Dirt cheap. $29.90 each when usually its $129 each.
Shopping its so tiring when you have to walk here and there.
Through and fro,
I'm so un-girly. I like to shop but i hate to walk.
That's why i'm addicted to online! Whahhas.

Chill at SP.
Dai ti. Black Jack and finally Donkey.
An old sch game made us chill all the way from 4plus in the afternoon till 2am in the morning.
This is m a d n e s s
After all the donkey - ing and flicking of ears. Resulted in hungry tummies and red angry looking ears
Back for a quick bathe and down to Dam
As usual lots of cars and some wild bikers stared willy-ing . (Not sure if this is the correct phrase)
Kayu and Maggie goreng rocks. BIG TIME

Sun was drama series and tears.
1 litre of Tears really gets my tears flowing.
I m so amazed and touched.
Sighs.
Talks with the Bf warms my heart.
Lying on the floor with pillow under our heads. Staring at the ceiling.Making small talks.
Sounds so un-romantic isn't it?
But it means everything. to me.=))

Here goes my weekend and back to weekdays.
Wed is going to be Bollywood style party with Jasslyn and Michelle.

January please come faster.
A new year with new hope
Tokyo and Hong Kong waving to me.
Yes i'm greedy and i'm going both.
Tokyo with the Bf and Hong Kong with my best.
Ahhhhh
Is it January tml?????
Dreaming is all i do. if only they come truuuee








Found a sacred place
Lost in your embrace
I want to stay in this forever

I NEED A SUGAR DADDY DESPERATELY

Its over and finally done with.
I did not get selected after all.
Its a sign or something isn't it? After 3 tries and the same ending.
Back to real life

Hello targets and sales.
Hello HRs and cold calls.
I'm back to square one.

I'm really thankful to all my friends.
Thank you guys so much for being in my life.
All the good luck msgs. It goes to show how much you guys care
ning.ade.eeki.boy.fong.quan.peiru.joanne.jasmine.leong.sis.mum.and lotsa more
I did not make it. Yes i admit i was sad
But well
its all over. i know how to pull myself up and from where i should.
Love you guys so much



It does not matter as much as it use to be.
It does bother me that much too.
Maybe i'm learning your way of doing things
Or
Maybe i just don't place it that high anymore.
I don't want to be seen as the one making the 1st move anymore
I don't want others to have the idea that i'm madly into you more than you are into me.
Yes i admit i love you all the same
But at times i just feel like i'm being taken for granted
At times i just feel like i'm not impt
Just like yesterday
I appreciate all my friends. All their thoughtfulness. all ther wishyouluck
What i want most is not there
"sorry i got too carried away in the conversation"

Duh
go marry your evo and your cousin.
say gdbye to me?
I don't know if i want this as much as last time
Or maybe i'm just letting it all out.
maybe maybe
This is not meant to be afer all.

I'm not being childish
I'm not being whiney
Its time to wake up to R E A L life.
I met too many nice people and i'm in my comfort zone i guess.

Reality is h a r s h
Truth is u g l y

it suddenly occur to me.
its always happening when needed most
i have nothing to comment on.

This is madness. How can one be so blind to such a good offer.
What's a fixed monthly 2k about when it does not even offer you AWS and variable bonus.
And it so bloodly far from your own place.
How can my candidate be so plain s t u p i d.
Sighs.
She's such a short term person.

Ahhh shitty.
My target can't be crossed! I only have $3k odd this month
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shitty shits





_________________________5.46pm____________________________________



I'll rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else
I'll rather be beside you in a storm than safe and warm by myself
I'll rather have hard times together than to have it easy apart
I'll rather have the one who holds my heart

New week again!

Let me backtrack a little.
Friday was meetup with my fav friends.
they just make me miss the days. finally it was full attendance
Jasmine.check
Pei ru. check
Qi hui.check
me.check

catchingup.photowhoring.gossiping(shockingnews!).foodbinging.beerdrowning.
I totally adore my girls.
its going to be a once a onceamonth event.

Sat was slackandchill.
Till i got nagged and drag my lazy body to town.
Steamboat was fun. not at marina south! it was at bugis.
Meetups again.
Chye.Kel.bran.eeki.me.
food was good. company's cosy.
Hanging out with the TP gang equals to laughing non stop.
Chye. Don't be an ass. My head is not big. i'm not affected. bleah
Mos-ing as usual and i saw edison.
Not edison- edsion chen. as in edison my friend. whahas

Sun was movie by myself while the bf sleep like a pig
Step up was sooo good.
The mains were so sweet. How pweety and how handsommme.
Drooling totally.
Beat was really catchy and well though plot was totally predictable, i still declared i'm a sucker for step up.
I'm watching it again tonight.tomorrow.the day after....................
Went for the motor show and there's this freaking cute car.

*Saw sweet iris!
hey ger you said meet up next week ya!

Fish&Co was fingerlickinggood.
Wordgame with the bf rocks.




Sigh new week again.
Targets and sale here i come......








i go crazy when you stare into my eyes.
mylove




_________________________4.09pm_______________________________

I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you

One down. 1 more to go
Today is showhand. ning you know what i mean
i'm a bundles of nerves now.

Random blogging.
i could not collect my thoughts now

saw from steph's blog. Decided to try it out too...

Your Italian Name Is...

Lia Bruno

What's Your Italian Name?

_____________________ 10.14am_________________

Before i can even finish my 1st entry of the day, i have already showhand.
I can't believe they are so nice too me.
Asking me to follow what my hearts say as this is a golden opportunity
I'm touched really.
It's like a big load off my chest.
I feel so much at ease. lighthearted
No longer needs for excuses to come up with.
I'm blessed with good people in my life.
I realised.

I want to pull through.and i must.






_____________12.45pm_____________

Back from lunch. sleepy
so bored that i tried all

You Are a Lime Margarita

Realistic and grounded, you have the energy to tackle any obstacle that stands in your way. Hyper and driven, you despise lazy behavior of all kinds... especially lazy drunks too tired to dance!

What Flavor Margarita Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you! Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter. You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you. You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover. Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives. Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours. No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Your Greed Quotient: 32%

You're a little greedy, but generally you don't let your desire get the better of you. You know that good things will come to you - as long as you wait your turn!

How Much Greed Do You Have?

You're a Freaky Kisser

When you kiss, you want to experience something new A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

You Belong in 1966

If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

BORINGS

I took MC yesterday and i'm applying leave tml.
i think sooner or later, they are going to talk to me.
Sigh
i'm feeling very stressed up.
i'm being sandwich in the middle.
Between my want and my need.
arggghhh

let's hope everything will go through smoothly
and i will then know where i stand.







Thanks ning for your encouagement and the tispy sat.
Thanks ade and eeki for your good luck msgs
Thanks fong for your accompany.being the only soul awake at that time.
Thanks baby for being there. to support me.
Thank you for your patience.
I love you egghead.








like the lazy ocean hugs the shore.
hold me close sway me slow

I hate cramps.
Big time.
Cramps with rainy days just makes me depressed.

Sat
Crepes finally. but it comes with a sacrifice.
I have to take shelter at a busstop which obviously does not shed me off from the rain much.
Half drenched even though i had a shelter over me. hmmm
all cause ning was super late.
but well on the account that she saved me with her obit umbrella and me from falling and slipping at orchard, i shall forgive her!

Crepes was absoultely delicious.
Apple cider makes me and ning a little weeny high on a sat afternoon.


shoppings' tiring.chilling replenish




mummy's watch


we inspire to be


lightuporchard


sinful supper

Another working day.
Friday's coming.
and i'm very very happy.

Ning say she's fated for crepes cause she saw Jean and Fiona introducing on Channel 5
Following by the week after, she saw Jean. Thus she told me its fated for her to have crepes
-.-
Therefore on sat i have a girly date.
I'm meeting ning for crepes.gossip.catchingup.shooping(ahhh noooo).movies(maybe).
Yummylicious.
Can we go get some cupcakes too? =))
*steph are you drooling? Be good and i'll get you some =))



Yesterday my crave came knocking at my door.
and
I crave for hokkien mee.
Thus i told my boy and he proposed Chomp Chomp.
I can't remember when's the last time i went there.
Thus 2 multiply into 4 and multiply into 7.
ahahhahs
So the 7 headed down and have a feast.
Chilli Kangkong.Chilli Sotong.Stingray.Carrot cakes.Hokkien mee (yummssss).Big gulp sugarcane juices.theawfulchickenchop(accordingtosteph).eggbeancurb(forthem.notme).
Whaoss. but i mainly focused on my hokkien mee. *drools*
however
Its not good to binge and binge. i need to shed some weight.
I don't want to be a fat gf. no no no.
Sighs. This thought is depressing.
We headed to coffee bean after.
And well what's new.
Carss.tyres.rims.evos.suspension.18inch.16inch.blahblahblah.
Guys can get so boring at times.
What perks me up was the talk of toookyyyoo.
We are officially flying and shopping.
Gers talk came and we couldn't help gushing abt how we would dress over that. ahahhas



Anyways. i'm sorry gers.
really could join in yesterday cause for work.
Though
k-ing+hearttoheart+girl'snight+foolingard+endlessjokes+allexpensespaid do sound REALLY tempting.
you all know i still love you.
muacks!










sayings that the moon will shine your way when you are lost.
but what if the moons get kidnappedup by the angry dark clouds?
will i lost my way?
i realise the answer yesterday.
i will never get lost.
Not when you are by my side.

Work's definitely not working out for me. It's drowning me.
I'm not motivated to work at all.
I'm feeling as if i can't achieve much.
Work makes me feel frustrated and unsettled
Work makes me tear my hair in despair. Make me sigh in disappointment. Make me mirrored myself harshly.

Everyday feels like a winding road. Its never smooth and straight
Everyday is a faded sign. Losing directions more and more each day.
Ingenue. Not me. Not me.
I've seen too much and feel too much.
Life's the same as a spectacular magazine. No matter how closely i follow the headings. Jump to pages. Continued on. No matter how careful or how detailed, there is always a sense that i've missed something.
The collapsed feeling under the skin that tells me i did not experience it all.
The fallen heart feeling that i've rushed right through the moments where i should have been paying attention.
To me, the unreal is more powerful than the real
Because nothing is as perfect as i can imagine it.
Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last.
Stone crumbles. Wood rots. Rivers run dry. Metal rust. And of cause humans die
Its only things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, can go on and on

shall stop being depressing and carry on with sick life.




Anways this is for one of my prettiest friend. you know who you are!!



My dear,
Have you ever wonder why do birds sing so gay
Have you ever wonder why lovers await the break of the day
Have you ever wonder why do they fall in love?
Have you ever wonder why does the rain fall from up above?
and
Have you wonder why only fools fall in love?

Why do one fall despite the fact that one would get hurt not once not twice but many.
Why do one fall despite the fact that one would need to give in and at times give up some.
Why do one fall despite the fact that it's never going to be smooth sailing.
Why do one fall despite the fact that they are being called fool?

I'm a fool and you are one too.
There's no stopping and no one to stop you.
It hurts.Its sweet.Its sour.Its bitter.Its enduring.
Since no once can give an explanations, let's just take what comes along isn't it.
Be it happiness or pain. Ups or down. Waiting for and waiting by.
Cause we choose to be a fool





Loves huggy,
teddy bear









Talk about love, talk about trust
I wanna be your soul provider

Boy gave me a wonderful piece of news yesterday.
He told me we will be going to tokyo!!
Him and hao for their car shows
Me for shopping.


I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait i can't wait I can't wait


Okay okay enough of my nonsense.




To my dearest.
Sweetest belated 9.
9's not long 9's not short
9 equals to jiu equal to long.
ahahs ok. wad a lousy theoretical definition of 9
Crap
Its always down to the same old thanks.
No matter how long or how close. Thank you is impt.
So here i go
Thank you for all.
Thank you for loving. making me realise how beautiful life can be
Thank you for bullying. making me realise i can bully you back. double.
Thank you for quarreling. making me realise how impt it is for 2 to communicate
Thank you for lending. making me realise you will always be here for me.
Thank you for sharing. making me realise i much you trust me and how i mean to you.
Thank you my dear.
The precious pearl in your hand and the only key in my heart.
I heart you

____________________edited@4.43pm_________________

My boss told me its going to be Winter when i go there
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Rock balls.

I feel as if someone is pulling my eyelids shut.
I can't seem to stay awake.
I can feel Alice tugging me asking me to join her in Wonderland.
Sighs
Time seems to crawl pass me today.
Sec seems very slow and mins seem even longer.
How come the clock is forever stopping at 3 plus and not moving on to 4, 5 or 6.

Arghhh~
May i and can i have a Genie in a bottle.
Who can grant me 3 simple wishes/3months?

- Monies monies and more monies.
- To work on Mon to weds and off on Thurs to sun
- A split of me who is hardworking and obliging.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
pls pls pls
I wan to be home soon.
To be swallow up by my bed and pillows.
To be blinded by sleep
To lost track of time lazing in my bed
and to get woke up by some stupid alarm the next day.
My life is this interesting. anyone wants to be in it. hurs















Love doesn't require two people look at each other, but that they look together in the same direction.
i'm glad you are lookingatmine and meatyours.

sunny island sentosa
here i come~

____________ edited@9.15pm____________

I'm dead beat.
Sentosa rocks. Its been ages since i last set foot there.
And well i guess my last time there was with Jovi and burger.
Manage to see some familiar faces there including Desmond and Teddy.
Sunshine.Merlion.Sand.Sea.Cutebabies.Deadjellyfishes.
The best part was the skyride and Luge ride.
View from the air is simply breathetaking and well, Luge ride was rocking.
Its almost like gold cart cum bumper car.
Too tired to type shall let the pics to the talking.

Apparently this video had everyone i know laughing like mad.
It got me to.
Do take a look to brighten up your gloomy day!


















Its a story abt a tiger and a pig.

Thaiexpress.TheGrudge2..Ben'sandjerry.Chocolatebrownie.saltedpopcorn.expressmanicure.


Thai Express is absolutely yummy.

The Grudge 2 is bullshit.but well EDISON save the movie.
He is freaking gorgeous and to die for.
Watching movie in J8 is like watching movie in some crowded market places. everyone's talking loudly and some tard even gave such a loud burp that can be heard in the next cinema.
Some boys sch students behaved like wimp.
I can't believe my ears when i hear them shout and scream.
Grudge was not even a quarter scary...........
"my god, that was scary. did you saw tt"
like some gay.

Simple day spent. Sweets rocks
















youmakemyheartfly

i'm roller-costering.
up at one and down the next.
is this the swing of the "pre - red seeing - period"
I'm feeling a little baffled.
Baffled by humans' ostentatious emotions
Baffled by my own imaginative braincells.
Baffled by the idealisations of life.
Baffled by almost every damn thing in the world.

I'm feeling as if i'm treading water.
Skating on thin ice.
Playing with fire.

I'm feeling as if i'm trapped.
in the world of doubts and jealousy.
in the world of betrayals and uncertainties
in the world of pedantical affectation.
Somtimes i feel as if the world just walk pass me, sniggling
leaving me standing here baptised in all my tears.

i know i'm not making sense.
becuase i chose not to.
Blah blah blah.
madness.i think i mad.

I know and i have learnt one will never be smooth sailing.
I know and i have seen. Greed killing and destroying all.
I know and i have heard talks abt riches and poors.Rumors and gossip.love and sex.
I know and i have been through the darkest and the worst and the happiest and the best.
I think i just need an outlet to nag.
nag and nag and nag and nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.nag.

Hello naggy koon

_________________edited@ 5.00pm________________________

The downpour outside feels like its just insde.
inside my heart
I wish i could cry a river. Cause after all crying do help
But tard.
Not a single tear. instead out came a resolution.
I'll never walk back the same path twice
I'll never allow myself to fall down twice
I'll learnt to be stronger. stronger than i m now.
I''ll learnt the 60-40. 70-30. rule.
I would not allow myself to repeat the same thing twice
Its cold out there.
But
its colder inmyheart











Signed sealed and delivered